Three Mariners We Hate

By Patrick and Anthony

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Patrick: Before we get started, any thoughts on the brackets?
Anthony: Nope, i have not looked at one yet.
P: Seriously? What kind of sports fan are you?
A: All i know is UW didn't make it.
P: Fair enough. Marquette will be running to the final four. Just to let you know
A: I woke up from a nap about 45 minutes ago and then started my homework. And thats nice, good for you.
P: Yeah. We can do bracketology later. Its time to talk about the three Mariners we hate first
A: Yay
P: Care to let the readers know who we hate?
A: Figgins, Adam Moore and Ichiro right? My memory isn't the greatest right now.
P: Correct sir. Great hangover memory
A: Huzzah. Im not hungover. I played two games of frisbee this morning, hungover. Exercise helps you recover
P: Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, lets start from most obvious and go to less predictable. Figgins first.

A: Yay Figgins. He spells his name weird.
P: Yeah he does. Chone? Really?
A: His Ops was .484 last year. Albert Pujols slugging was .541
P: Yeah thats pretty much the whole story of last year for him. The Mariners put him on the DL so they didn't have to have him on the roster.
A: He was Carlos Silva-ed. I will point out he wasn't terrible in 2010. He stole 42 bases apparently
P: Perfect analogy. Really?
A:Yeah, I am quite surprised by that.
P: Ok thats decent, but he still didn't get on base enough to make a difference.
A: His OPS was .646. But he was around league average. And got paid way more than league average
P: But 2010 is a distant memory. 2011 was pitiful
A: Yeah, it is irrelevant. He hit below the Mendoza line.
P: He completely let us down. He redefined awful, disappointing, and infuriating.
A: His average was 20 points away from Adam Dunn. And Adam Dunn was terrible last year. He was a giant black hole of suckiness and bad attitude. His attitude in interviews sucked and he did not seem like a team player.
P: Didn't he fight Wakamatsu in 2010?
A: Fight? He was pissed he was batting 9th or something like that.
P: I thought he tried to attack him in the dugout.
A: A google search confirms this.
P: Told you so.
A: That sucks.
P: Yeah what a dick. I liked Wak as a person and sort of as a manager. He had no right to call him out like that.
A: Yeah, that was not a cool move. Russell Branyan was on the team at that point. I miss him.
P: I think the biggest reason we hate Figgins is that we pay him so much and we thought we had the answer when we signed him, and he has been pure horribleness.
A: He was the one Jack Z move that completely backfired. Especially after watching him be really good for the Angels for a few years.
P: Yeah he killed us for years and then we get him and he continues to kill us.
A: Yeah, at least he's easy to make fun of and is only with us for two more years.
P: Yeah I'm counting down the days. Screw Figgins. Time to pick on Adam Moore, someone more our own size.

A: He is very bad at hitting the baseball away from the other team. His unofficial nickname is 6-4-3
P: Did he inherit that from Rob Johnson?
A: Who got it from Kenji Johjima who got it from a bunch of scrubs starting with Ben Davis. That one good year for Johjima was an aberration.
P: Pretty much every catcher after Wilson.
A: He's also really injury prone. He has played 72 MLB games
P: Yeah that part is the worst for me. We have been waiting for him to take the next step and he looks decent but then gets hurt.
A: Catchers can only catch for so long before they start breaking down, Moore started breaking down really early.
P: Yeah before his career started
A: Now he has a chipped bone in his hand or wrist or something so hes out another few weeks or something
P: It just continues with him.
A: Yeah, he's another prospect that flopped.
P: The Mariners have never had a better than league average catcher in franchise history. And when Moore came along, we thought for a second that he could've been that guy for us. And now it looks like his ceiling is league average catcher
A: We thought he would make the Rob Johnson/ Jeff Clement pain go away. He just made it worse
P:It looks like Jack Z has given up on him too, since he brought in Montero and Jaso.
A: Also, on your previous point about the M's not having better than a league average catcher. Bob Stinson in 1977 was pretty solid. Yeah, you just got googled
P: I don't care about Bob Stinson.
A: Neither do I, except his nickname was Scrap Iron. Which is pretty awesome. Anyway, back to Moore. His time looks done, Montero is the new sexy catching prospect. If he flops, I think the M's should consider not having a catcher. Go with 4 OF's.
P: Yeah they can't find a good catcher. Here's to Jesus as the catching savior.
A:Littlewood and Baron are in the system but a long way off.
P: Don't even know those guys. But I'll take your word.
A:Know your prospects dude.
P:Let's just agree Moore is a bust and we hate him.

P: Here comes the toughest subject. Why do we hate Ichiro?
A: He does some things that are really stupid but we put up with it for 9 years because he was guaranteed for 200 hits and great defense. Now thats gone, his eccentricities have been exposed. And they suck. Running through stop signs, trying to steal at terrible times, stealing live baseball's from the field when he's sitting along the front row right field seats.
P: Yeah what angers me is that while Ichiro has done so well for ten years, the Mariners really haven't. So how can you blame that on the whole team after a while. He's just selfish, and doesn't help the rest of the team.
A: He's so talented and its very frustrating to watch when he isn't willing to make a sacrifice for the team. When he had to play CF for a year, his hitting sucked. Sucked in relative Ichiro terms
P: He's never been willing to adjust to have us win. I'm surprised Wedge got the authority to move him to number 3 in the order.
A:Yeah, I'm very curious to see what happens with that. Especially if he sucks and Figgins does pretty good.
P: I actually think Ichiro will do better this year, but until he does, last season is unforgivable.
A: Hopefully his new swing works.
P: Yeah maybe he'll groundout to first base less.
A: Or swing at pitches in the dirt less. You see the lookout landing about the 5 worst swings the M's had in 2011?
P: Yeah I did. It was like Ichiro and Peguero.
A: Was he on there once or twice?
P: I think it was twice.
A: Well done for him.
P: Yeah we need to expect more from him.
A: He's a perennial all star who will be the first Mariner in the hall of fame. But he needs to step up his play this year.
P: Griffey will get in first.
A: Thats true.
P: And yes he needs to take a step forward to where he was before 2011 happened. Otherwise we will continue to hate him. And rightfully so.
A: Yep.

P: Any final thoughts?
A: Taijuan Walker hit 96 last night and 72 with a curve.
P: Damn. He's so good.
A: M's are still in the race for the Championship of the Cactus League.
P: Lost again today though.
A: Stupid giants.
P: Alright tune in Tuesday for part three of our live chat series, three players we disagree on.
A: Yeah, heres a hint. I'm always right.
P: We'll see about that. Go M's.