Three Mariners We Love

This is part one of a three part series of chats between Anthony and I about how we feel about certain Mariners. We did this so we can establish more of our personal opinions and so that the readers can understand us a little bit better. Let's be honest though, we also did this so we could rant and rave about the M's. It's what we do best. Part two, three Mariners we hate, premieres Monday, and part three, three Mariners we disagree on, goes up Tuesday.


Patrick: Ok. lets get started. I might go to dinner though
Anthony: Ive already eaten dinner. What the fuck dude? Isnt it like 930 there?
P:I had class till 8. And had to wait until one of my buddies cut somebodies hair. Long story
A:Boooooooooo
P: Shut up.
A:I will boo when I want thank you
P:Anyway, lets talk about three Mariners we love.
.A:Ok. Felix, Carp, and Ackley.

P: Right. Felix first.
A:Hes awesome.
P:Do we even have to talk about it?
A: Not really. He's dependable for 200+ innings and 200+ K's and can shut the door on anyone at any time. Whenever he pitches we will probably win.
P:Unless we don't hit for him. But you're right.
A: He says he wants to stay in Seattle his entire career. He hit a grand slam. He has his own cheering section.
P:We love him because he is the only player on our team that we can brag about to other fans. He has an alter ego named Larry Bernandez.
A:He gives hilarious interviews. He lost like 20 pounds in the offseason.
P:He cheers harder than anyone even when he hasn't played the whole game.
A:He packs fat lips.
P: Unabashedly. He doesn't try to hide it.
A:Theres not much really to talk about why. He's just fucking awesome.
P: Couldn't agree more. All hail the king.

A:The players we love are hard to talk about because they are players almost every fan loves.
P:Well maybe not. Not everybody likes mike carp
A:I contest that part. He IS the starfish.
P:True. While the M's couldn't stop losing, he couldn't stop hitting.
A:He is a good guy (giving out Halman t-shirts to the team).
P:Yeah and a personable guy (see his press conference a month ago).
A:He took advantage of the opportunity given to him by Wedge.
P:He had a 20 game hitting streak.
A:He isn't the best defensively, similar to Raul Ibanez.
P: Probably the only reason that Baseball Tonight talked about the M's in a positive manner last season.
A: He's a left-handed power hitter who can take advantage of the short porch in right.
P: He cranked doubles last year. The mariners don't get many extra base hits.
A: That's pretty much it. The advanced stats aren't very beneficial to him.
P:He's got that "it" factor that fans like though.
A: It factor?
P: He just goes out and does work night in and night out.
A: You're reaching for stuff now.
P: Carp is the man though.
A:Yeah, but you don't need a bunch of flowery sentences describing subjective things like it factor and doing work.
P:You're right. It's a bad habit. Anyway, Ackley now?

A:Sure. He is an actual offensive threat from second base, a position that rarely has an offensive impact without steroids.
P: See Bret Boone.
A: Yes.
P:Gotta love the threat he provides though no doubt. Only a few second basemen can produce like he potentially could.
A:He is a patient hitter, which is a nice change from Jose "swing at anything I want" Lopez
P:Jose Lopez was such a fatty. Terrible shape for second base. He did score the winning run in an all-star game though.
A:He went to an all-star game? That's depressing. He also had braces one year.
P: Wow. That's weird. We learn something new everyday i guess. Anyway, Ackley. He has great facial hair, something I respect.
A: And cannot achieve.
P: Ouch. I grow a mean chinstrap.
A: Call me when your cheeks get some.
P: Thanks asshole, will do.
A:No problem.
P:Ackley also has been better than Stephen Strasbourg so far. A definite plus, since we choked away the number one pick that year.
A:Strasbourg looked pretty good in his first start though. Could be a bounce back player.
P:Notice the "so far." I think we ultimately love Ackley because we have had zilch for offense the last three years, and he gives us hope offensively. Agreed?
A: Yeah, he is the leadoff/second hitter of the future. He is a draft pick that has actually produced.
P:He is the biggest piece in Jack Z's plan.
A:Do you count the three headed monster of a future rotation as a piece?
P:Yeah, but thats phase two. Ackley was the key part of phase one.
A: Watch out for the sophomore slump.
P: Let's hope not.
A:It happened to Smoak and Heyward.
P:I think Ackley's different.
A:I want him to adjust to how pitchers are pitching him. Early in the year, he was patient and then they adjusted and got ahead of him early which screwed him. He has to be aggressive when the ball is in the zone and not just want to work long counts.
P:I agree with that. He definitely tapered off late in the year. I think he's different though. He's a lot less "all or nothing" than Heyward or Smoak.
A:That's true. Also his batting stance oozes swag.
P:He oozes swag in general.
A:His fielding is lacking swag.
P:Well who knows, he could be a left fielder in a few years.
A: Let's hope not

P: Alright that's good for now. Check back in on Monday for part two, three Mariners we hate. Go M's
A: Go M's