The Cool Hundo

Can Felix do it tonight? Third times a charm, right?

For all who live under a rock or choose to avoid technology for religious reasons, Felix Hernandez is going for his 100th win tonight against Miguel Cabrera *ahem* a Detroit team that has been hitting the snot out of the baseball. His last two times out the King has put up un-regal numbers, more jester-like if you asked me.

But tonight is the night the King nabs the cool hundo. Write that down as fact; if it isn't the case I will do something crazy and never tell any of you about it. But know I am confident he can do it tonight. Even if Max Scherzer strikes out the first 27 Mariners batters he faces, Felix will find a way to win this game.

This is going to be a fun game to watch if you enjoy playing chess, long drawn out games of risk, or enjoy the intricacies of competitive crocheting. This will be a pitching duel... unless the Mariners hitters come out of hibernation tonight. Dustin Ackley with an extra-base hit and a multi-hit game anyone? (I know I will never let it go).

But back to Felix.

I have no doubt in my mind that he is going to be a great pitcher throughout his time in Seattle *hopefully his entire career*. I want him to get that 100th tonight because he deserves it, because the Mariners deserve it, and I don't want the M's to have 10 losses already. He, and the Mariners, will find a way tonight.

On a note not entirely related to tonight's game, the Mariners are dropping like flies due to injury. In recent games Saunders (the condor not the lefty number 3 in the rotation who always looks so damn smug), Guti, Morse, and Pryor have been hampered by injuries. Arguably, those four make up a majority of what has been going good for the Mariners so far this season. Hopefully Saunders and Pryor can come back soon from the 15-day DL. And hopefully somebody is making Guti stretch and pray and take ice baths every half hour. And maybe somebody should start reminding Morse to keep his pinkies to himself.

As for the rest of the Mariners offense, they need to step it up and get that SoDo Mojo back. What happened to that Spring Training confidence? They youngsters seem more tentative and scared than ever, and can somebody please tell me if Ack and Smoak are going to ever figure it out? And what about Montero? The way the tea leaves read nowadays, it seems like Zunino will be up sooner than expected and Montero will be off floating in space- a place where the rare skill of being able to move your legs quickly in a forward direction is useless because you float around aimlessly and run into satellites manned by Soviets who were sent into the atmosphere during the Cold War. Maybe some 40 year old potato vodka could whip Montero into shape, and help me curtail my run-on sentences. I guess only someone named Fyodor or Illyich would know.

It just always seems like the M's hitters choose to be patient when they need to be aggressive, and choose to be aggressive when they need to be patient.  And is it just me or does it always seem like the Mariners run into teams while they're getting hot? Or maybe it's just that the Mariners make other teams look hot because of how poor they often play. I've thought about this way too much and it's a vicious mental cycle, like watching too many episodes of the Twilight Zone in a row.

Regardless of those offensive woes though, Felix is going to notch W number 100 tonight (wow that last sentence reads more awkwardly than it sounded in my head).

Happy Felix Day to all, and to all in Seattle good afternoon; I am already consumed by darkness on the East Coast.

Look forward to that victory tonight... maybe this game will be a little more entertaining than the last couple... as a college student I've decided to go to bed at 10:30 instead of watching the games. I think that says it all.

Long live the King. 

-Charlie @C14SpencerD