By Anthony
This was an interesting turn through the amigos since we were missing an amigo. Blake Beavan was skipped in the rotation since Miguel Cabrera ate his elbow. You know how boring Blake Beavan is? I wasn’t sure if he was skipped or not. I couldn’t remember him pitching but couldn’t remember him not pitching. So I had to look it up on Fangraphs and discovered that he didn’t. Sorry Blake. Also, in honor of the lack of Ham Sandwich, I wrote the title in Afrikaans. Want to know why that’s in honor of Blake? Well I don’t know, maybe he is South African or has been there before. Screw it, I just wanted to write it in Afrikaans and have it tie into this paragraph. Maybe I am just pissy because I still have a month left in school and Patrick will be rubbing that in the entire month. Jerk. To the pitchers who actually threw the ball on the field.
Hector Noesi
Let
me just say this before I go into the analysis. Yankee Stadium sucks. More
specifically their right field fence sucks. Jason Nix hit an out in almost any
other stadium in the league; it probably would have been on the warning track
at Williamsport (Where little leaguers play, with 200 foot fences). Except Nix
instead was awarded home plate and two runs for his team. That sucks. Noesi’s
line was 7 innings, 5 runs, 4 K’s and no walks. The more in depth line, in the
way that I care about was 3 line drives, 62% strikes with his changeup although
he only threw 8 and 8 whiffs on his breaking pitches. Believe me, this was a
good start for the young man. If you take away the joke home run for Nix, 7
innings, 3 runs against the Yankees if pretty solid, even better when it’s a
rookie pitching who was in the bullpen last year. It is very easy to write this
off as a bad start for Hector but I was pleased with his command and his pitch
selection. Remember, the Yankees are pretty good. Hector, you get a B. That’s
above average.
Kevin Millwood
This
game was pretty awesome, mostly because the M’s won and avoided the sweep, but
also because Millwood was pitching out of his mind. There was a point when he
walked in Russell Martin that I was ready to curse him in this section. Then he
got tough with guys on base. I will eat my words, fine, but I already had lunch
so I’ll put them in the fridge next to an old gross energy drink and a Brita
pitcher with an expired filter. College life is great. Millwood’s line was 7
innings, 1 run, 6 K’s, 4 walks and 3 double plays that were huge. Want to know
why I still don’t like Millwood. He barely broke 50% on throwing his fastball
for a strike. He was bailed out his secondary stuff, but still it’s a fastball.
It is the easiest pitch to throw for a strike. Pitching 101 includes don’t walk
people and commanding your fastball. As a former ace Millwood knows this and
got lucky. Do better Kevin! You will never be able to appease me! I will always
criticize you, even your beard. Which is approaching Patrick levels of
grossness. I will grudgingly give you an A. But its like a 93.1% so you’re
barely above an A-.
Wag of the Finger
Michael
“The Starfish” Carp
I
am all about bounce back players. I am also all about marine related nicknames.
Welcome back to the big leagues Mike. I am glad that your shoulder is healthy
and I am more glad you have two home runs. However, you are hitting worse than
Brendan Ryan. That sucks. Whenever a player is hitting lower than their weight,
its pretty bad. Mike is still striking out 20% of the time and has an OBP of
below .200. Step it up Mike! Otherwise I will continue to call you Michael. Ye
Be Warned Starfish
Tip of the Cap
Andrew
Carraway
Never
heard of him? Join the club. He was the first starter to be promoted from the
Jackson Generals to the Tacoma Rainiers. That means he was promoted over
Hultzen, Walker, Paxton and some other guy I don’t know. Why does he get the
tip of my cap? In his first start for Tacoma he went 7.1 innings, struck out 4
guys walked one and gave up 0 runs. That’s pretty awesome. Hopefully he can
keep up that pace and maybe show up in Safeco in September. Or just replace
Kevin Millwood now. Either way I would be pleased. I dislike Kevin that much.
The Word
Juvenile
Not
in the sense of juvenile the bad way like a delinquent but just young. That
pretty well defines the Mariners right now. Lets see, Ryan sucks, Olivo and
Guti are hurt, Ichiro is being Ichiro and Figgins is in Narnia or something.
Offensively, the M’s are super young. Liddi, Wells, Ackley, Seager, Smoak,
Montero, Carp and Saunders are all young. That means that they can be expected
to improve, or at least we hope they can. So Wedge has a bunch of kids hitting.
That is so juvenile…Go
M’s
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