By Anthony
That title means I hate Kevin Millwood. You may be surprised by this because I guess he did kind of a good job the other day but I still hate him. Understand how deep my hatred of some players goes. When Landon Donovan scored the game-winning goal against Algeria in the World Cup? I still hated him. When LeBron James dropped 45 points on the Celtics in Game 6, still hated him like the rest of America. The Amigos had a pretty rough go of it, minus that one thing that Millwood did. I will also wag my finger, tip my cap and offer a word.
Hector Noesi: Hey there Hector, sorry to make you pitch early in the rotation but Felix has a hurt back and you’re young and can probably pitch well. There is no way that this can go badly right? I highly doubt that this is what went through the coaching staff’s head when they made the call to move up Hector in the rotation but I like to think Wedge is a blatant optimist. Anyway, Noesi did not do a very good job of pitching, allowing 6 runs in 4 innings while walking 5 and getting one K. I have a few pet peeves as a baseball fan, not throwing strikes is one of them, throwing strikes in a 0-2 count is the other one. It seems like Noesi usually struggles to throw strikes, unless it’s 0-2 when he then throws a meatball. 0-2 is a really easy count for a pitcher. Usually they throw a breaking ball or a ball to set up the next pitch. 0-2 pitches are rarely thrown in the strike zone and therefore should not be hit hard. Honestly, Noesi could throw a pitch behind a guy and I would like it more than if he threw a strike. At least a pitch behind him scares the batter. Noesi struggled to find the zone as well, something that is not good. Patrick wants him to go to Tacoma, which isn’t a bad idea and I would like him to go to the bullpen, which also isn’t a bad idea. So odds are Hector will not be making many more starts if you ask us. You get a D-.
Blake Beavan: The Ham Sandwich went bad. I think someone left him out for way too long. Anyway he went 5 innings, 6 runs, 2 K’s and 3 home runs. If anyone is wondering why Blake Beavan gives up a bunch of home runs can look at his stuff. It is not very good. Beavan gets by because he throws a bunch of strikes. Know how many strikes he threw in his last start. 56. For a rate of 66%. If Noesi or Millwood put that number up, I would be pretty meh about it. But Beavan needs to be in the mid-to-upper 70% range to be effective. USS Mariner wrote a pretty scathing article about him claiming that he has never been a Major League starting pitcher and that he should be cut or sent to the bullpen. I will defend Blake. The bullpen is helpful for people who struggle to throw strikes but that’s not Blake. He also has lasted as a pretty decent starter on a not very good team. So yes, Blake does not have a place on this roster once the kids show up. He cannot compete with Hultzen, Paxton, Walker, or even Ramirez and Carraway. But last time I checked, those dudes aren’t here yet. So Blake’s time is limited, but he deserves to last the rest of the year and hopefully gets traded in return for some prospects. He gets a D-. Our GPA sucks.
Kevin Millwood: Yeah yeah, he did something really cool. Didn’t allow a hit or something, threw 68 pitches in six innings or something. Too bad he is old and gets hurt often. I won’t lie, I wasn’t enthused when he got hurt but I wasn’t super sad either. I was more, now Patrick can’t make fun of me because there is no way that our bullpen doesn’t get a hit. Well Stephen Pryor walked two guys, Luetge got a sac bunt (like a boss) and then Brandon League did his job as did the bartender. I will point out Brandon League has been on his game recently. WHICH IS AWESOME. HELLO TRADE DEADLINE. AND HELLO SOME TEAM OVER PAYING FOR HIM. I LOVE STUPID BASEBALL GM’S.
Tip of My Cap
Michael Saunders: The Canadian Condor, a rare sight indeed, has made his territory known in center field. What I am excited for is when Saunders, Guti and Ichiro are patrolling the outfield. That defense is awesome; I am super excited to see the Mariners defense once Guti returns. The starfish can’t play defense. But Saunders is actually the best hitter on the team right now. Who saw that coming besides Peter Davis? Nobody. WOOOO CONDOR!!!!
Wag of My Finger
Stupid Kevin Millwood. Not allowing a hit? Are you kidding me? That’s terrible!!!!! And then you fake an injury just out of shame since the bullpen is exhausted. What a jerk. Thank god an exhausted Stephen Pryor and company was able to last through then. Man I hate Kevin Millwood.
The Word
Stubborn: That would apply to me. If you can’t tell, I really hate Kevin Millwood and I am really glad he failed in that attempt because that would mean I had to write about it. Now I only can speculate about what could have been. And am glad. I never like seeing a player go down with an injury but I was so stubborn I didn’t really feel too bad. Yeah I am as stubborn as a rhinoceros at a tea party. Didn’t see that coming did you? Go M's.
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